zippers are such a cool invention
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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