I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
