sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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