Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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