Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
