you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
