I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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