who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Its about making memories worth repressing
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's shark week go big or go home
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
