Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
