i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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