can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
