My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
