Me. At least after what I've been through.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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