is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
