And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
my poor anus
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
