Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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