he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
