My first STD was from a foam party
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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