ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
only if we run a train.
done.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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