omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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