Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
