do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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