I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
