I want to stick my p in your. b.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
