if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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