apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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