I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
