Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
