She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
