Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
A bitchslap is in order.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
