Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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