Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
