For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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