I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
