a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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