I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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