what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
only you would photoshop your dick
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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