I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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