would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
