I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
