I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
