your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
