The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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