I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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