Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
