So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she told me i tasted like america
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
