I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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