I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
