just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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