After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
