The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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