i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
