I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
