It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
