I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
