I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
