I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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