Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
