Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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